So…my Mom went to Florida to visit her BFF for a relaxing beach weekend. They have a ball.
Since it was a short trip she had her laptop and a small roller suitcase.
When she arrived back home I picked her from the airport and we went and had dinner and then headed home. Trip done. Had fun. Relaxed.
The NEXT day, my Mom calls me at the CRACK OF DAWN and is talking quietly and slowly. SHE HAS BEEN ROBBED!!!
Mom: Regan…I can’t believe this has happened.
Mom: Well, yesterday when we came home I didn’t unpack.
Mom: Well, I opened my suitcase and it is EMPTY… EMPTY!!!
Me: WHAT!!! NO WAY!!!
Mom: Yes. They didn’t even leave me a pair of drawers (draws)!!
Me: (deep sigh) shaking my head
Mom: They took EVERYTHING. My clothes. My perfume. My Shoes. EVERYTHING (at this point she is visibly upset)
Me: Don’t be upset, we will have to call the airlines
Mom: I know. Hmpf…someone is walking around Florida smelling good and wearing some cute sh*t (mom’s mouth..lol)
Mom: I can’t believe they stole my UNDERWEAR. DAMN! hmm hmm hmm
Me: Come show me the suitcase…you didn’t notice that it was light?
Mom: I was tired and relaxed…I wasn’t paying attention
Me: (sigh….) my lil’ Mommy
– we go into the bedroom and I see her bag sitting right where she said it was. I open the side zipper to the outside compartment, and see her makeup bag. She is like “huh” where did that come from? I then open the main zipper to the larger section and VOILA all of her clothes, perfume and drawers!!!
Mom: Wait a minute..wait a minute. I just opened my bag, it was EMPTY!!!
Me: (smh thinking to myself, Lord…I need to get her tested)
Mom: Regan…no..wait. I am not losing my mind, it was empty. I just opened that bag!!!!
– As I am standing there I notice ANOTHER suitcase at the foot of the bed. The larger one of the luggage set. I walk over to it, my Mom follows. I open the suitcase…EMPTY!-
Mom: Oooooooh…wait a minute. NO, that is NOT the suitcase I opened…I swear I opened the right suitcase. SHIT!!!!
Me: smh smh smh
Mom: Well..I guess I don’t have to call Southwest.
Dad: (yelling from the other room) What are y’all doing??
Me: Mom was just UN-ROBBED!!!!