So…I really didn’t need to know that one of my Daddy’s FAVORITE songs is Hot in Herre by Nelly. AND…I really didn’t need to know that my Mom tries to dance along. LOL
(I don’t know what tickles me more…my Mom trying to dance to the song OR my Daddy yelling “Go Baby, Go Baby”)
BUT…I am NOT surprised…at all. I guess that’s how they are approaching 51 years of marriage. LOL
*I LOVE them**
So…this topic of my Mom going Rollerskating for her birthday has now taken over the Ford household. The battle is ON!!!
In this corner, weighing in as the Smooth and Silent, Master of Disaster, the Godfather, the G-Pop, we have MELVIN FORD. (cheers, cheers, roar of the crowd)
In the opposite corner weighing in at a lean and scrappy Leopard Onesie Suited Diva, the Philly Girl, the Queen of Bling, we have TONI FORD. (thunderous applause, cheers, more roar)
MOM: I talked to Bunny. He talked to Crystal Skate, looks like we will have to change the date.
DADDY: Toni…you are not gonna roller-skate. You are gonna hurt yourself.
MOM: Humph…I’m not afraid of falling down.
DADDY: You should be.
MOM: Melvin, look…I am having a party and you will be there!
DADDY: Toni…you don’t need to be on any roller-skates!!
MOM: You curmudgeon!
* (Regan glances up from her pail of water…lol…and googles Curmudgeon) *
DADDY: Humpf…yeah ok. I’ll be your curmudgeon. (chuckle, chuckle)
MOM: Man…you act so old, I need to calculate your age with an ABACUS.
So…a couple of posts ago was about a conversation that I had with my folks…specifically about what my Daddy wants for his 80th birthday. My parents’ birthdays are December 14th (Mommy) and December 15th (Daddy). My Dad said simply that he would just like to breathe and my Mom said she wants to go Rollerskating….hmm. (see Breathe and Rollerskate)
Well….my Mom is now set on having a Roller Skating Birthday Party for her (she won’t let me tell that she is turning 76) birthday next month. D-E-T-E-R-M-I-N-E-D. Like…she brings it up EVERYDAY.
MOM: I really want to have a Roller-Skating party for my birthday. I’ve talked to some buddies of mine.
ME: Hmm… I really don’t think that is a good idea.
MOM: Why? I used to roller skate
ME: Aunt Phyllis said she tried it a few years ago and she would NEVER do it again. Kymmy said she went a couple of months ago and she fell down so many times that they asked her to leave the rink.
MOM: Well…that’s them. I can skate!
ME: C’mon Mom, when was the last time you were on roller-skates? We can do something else…your balance isn’t the best.
MOM: I. CAN. DO. IT. How about this? I will do one lap around the rink.
ME: (sigh)
—–THEN DADDY CHIMES IN…SMH SMH —–
DADDY: Regan…let her do it! You know she won’t let it go.
ME: Yeah.
DADDY: BUT…you will need to do something before you get to the rink.
ME: Huh? What?
DADDY: About 30 minutes before she starts her lap, call 9-1-1 Tell them that you will need them in about 30 minutes…be on standby.
ME: (giggling)
DADDY: I’m serious. Tell them that they will have a 76 year old woman who will need full treatment. Tell them to bring everything they got!!!
MOM: (pouting)
ME: (giggling harder)
DADDY: Tell them they will need a stretcher, bandages, iodine…
ME: (iodine?)
DADDY: band aids, an eye patch, mercurochrome, alcohol swabs…
ME: (mercurochrome??)
DADDY: gauze, a helmet, neck brace…
ME: (can’t contain myself)
MOM: (staring at him…right. at. him)
DADDY: splints, crutches, a wheelchair…
ME: (oh em gee…I can’t breathe)
DADDY: knee brace, a cane, ear plugs…
ME: (CRACKING UP)
DADDY: Tylenol, Icy Hot, Ice packs…
ME: (tears are now rolling down my eyes)
MOM: (side eye, rolling eyes, hands on hips)
DADDY: Needle and thread and a defibrillator!! I think that’s about it.
MOM: SHUT UP MELVIN!!!!! Ummm…but… don’t forget… a nurse!!!!
ME: (head on table, tears rolling down my face, CRACKING UP!
