#Funny

Alexa & Tito…

~ Regan Ford Nesbitt ~ Leave a comment

They are back!!!

I have two new best friends.  There names are Alexa and Tito.
(If you get it …you get it.)

So….this morning:

MOM:  Dad will most likely be home Thursday.

ME:  Yaay…we have a lot to do to get ready.

MOM:  Yup…I need to practice.

ME:  Practice??  Practice what?

MOM:  His legs are weak….so I am gonna give him lap dances.

ME:  (crickets)

We have ramps that must be built, appointments to schedule and she is stretching like she is preparing for the final Track and Field Olympics

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!  and I repeat HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!!!

Go to bed and get up and get ready…oh my!!!

~ Regan Ford Nesbitt ~ Leave a comment

The thoughts that are currently racing through my head…

What did we do when we were younger that made things easier??

For example…why do I have to get up at 5:30 am, just to have enough time to get ready for work?  And, why do I have to go to bed at 10:30 pm,  just to be able to get up at 5:30 am?

And, why do I have to START getting ready at 8:30 pm, in order to go to bed at 10:30 pm?  Why does it take me 2 hours just to GET READY for bed?

WHY??

Between getting ready for bed and getting ready for the day, I’m exhausted!!!



 			

	


				
					


	

			
Pretzels, Bunnies and Chocolate…OH MY!!!
		

				

						 ~ Regan Ford Nesbitt			 ~ Leave a comment					

				

		
So, this morning, I am talking to my Mom. There is a bag of chocolate covered pretzels in the bed. And then…..




ME:  Mom, why do you have chocolate covered pretzels in the bed?


MOM:  Oh..those aren’t mine.


ME:  Ummmmm


MOM:  Gloria gave them to me…I’m not eating them.


ME:  Well…why is the top of the bag ripped open and half of them are gone?


MOM:  She gave them to me like that.


ME:  (Smirk)


MOM:  …and I have a chocolate covered bunny that stays under the bed. He likes chocolate covered pretzels.


ME:  (side eye)


MOM:  I let him come out sometimes…just to chat.


ME:  Are you still sleep?


MOM:  No…


ME:  I got a message from Aunt Phyllis…I need to catch up with her today.


MOM:  My sister is crazy as sh*t. I am beginning to wonder which of my sisters is the nuttiest!


ME:   Mom….you JUST said that you have a chocolate covered bunny who likes chocolate covered pretzels that lives under your bed. And…oh yeah.. that you occasionally chat with!    I think YOU ARE!!

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#BUILTFORDTOUGH

#icantmakethisstuffup

#sheisserious

#definitelybeatsherowndrum

#iloveit

#ishouldnttalkmynewnameislavenderelizabethpersimmonblue

#inordertobenumberoneyouhavetobeodd

#enoughhashtags

#icantstop

#help