Going vegetarian…well…

It’s Memorial Day weekend and, of course, cookouts and cookout food is priority number one. So…this morning, my Mom went grocery shopping.  She loves Eastern Market!!  She came home with all sorts of stuff.  And then…

Mom:  Hey baby, did you know that Tom Brady and Gizelle are vegetarians?

Dad:  WHO?

Mom:  You know the football player and his wife, the model.

Dad:  Ummm, No..I didn’t know that.

Mom:  I read that they are vegetarian 80% of the time.  I think we should try that too.  We eat a lot of vegetables and I’ve read that it is so much healthier.  I went to the market and got some gooood stuff.   Mel, this cantaloupe is gonna be good!!

Dad:  You want us to be Brady and Jasmine??

Mom:  GIZELLE.   We can try it out…why not?  I’ve got some good recipes.  I think this will be really good.  And, it will give us some new things to try.

ME:  (hands on my head)

Dad: (head hanging, chuckling)  OK Baby


LATER THIS AFTERNOON / EARLY EVENING

Mom is in the kitchen.  She usually cooks dinner on Sundays.  She is doing her THANG!!! Daddy comes in the kitchen right after me.

Dad:  Something smells good Baby.  What’s for dinner?

Mom:  Pork chops & gravy, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce and mixed vegetables.

(My Dad walks with a walker.  He STOPPED in the middle of the kitchen)

Mom:  And I made some GOOOOD  sangria with those berries from the market..

Dad:  HUH?  You said we were gonna be vegetarians???

Mom:  Well, I said they do it 80% of the time.  We gonna start Tuesday.  Besides, pigs eat vegetables.

(My Dad looks at me…and makes the crazy sign around the side of his head with his finger and then to my Mom)

Mom:  I see you Melvin!!!!!  Go sit your a** down!!  Dinner is almost ready.


OH EM GEE!!!!!!   WHAT is going on??  She was SERIOUS!!!!  So, I guess we will be vegetarian starting Tuesday.

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